Sad Day....

Tonganoxie High School -- lost one of their Seniors last night.   They lost Jeremy a few months back and a teacher as well.   That's three just this school year.


Connor Olson, Tonganoxie student who bravely battled cancer, dies at 18 


Please remember their family in prayer -- he has younger siblings as well.


Stephen said school was like a tomb.  They had the Chieftain room ready for students to come and talk and get help that they needed.  They were at the school last night after he passed away ... he was a tough kid. 


Please say some prayers for Stephen -- Connor was his bestest buddy for most of junior high -- but drifted apart in high school.  Doesn't make the hurt any less.


Then Sarai called me and asked me when my next scan was.  Uh, in May.  Scheduled for another PET Scan.
I guess she had a dream.  It has really been a totally stinky day.  Pray for a cure for this terrible, terrible disease.

Please pray for Katie Bug...

My friend Michelle's Min Pin -- Katie Bug was not doing well last night. 

I have yet to hear word, but with the loss of Taco still so fresh -- and I know how much they love Katie ...
thanks.   These pets are friends and companions ....

She hasn't updated her blog regarding Katie, but does on facebook.   

Special Prayer Request

A family in our church lost their brother in a horrible accident.  He was only 19 years old, all his siblings are  younger than he.  They are truly inconsolable.  Please, please pray for this family.   I can't imagine, and don't want to.   My heart hurts for them, we've known the younger children since they were babies.  How can I help them??   Besides praying without ceasing...

Monday -- Prayer Request

Made it safely here to San Antonio.  Thank you Lord!   The sun was shining and the weather was about 70.  It's snowing back home ... but its a little chilly here today.

Headed back to the school in a few minutes, but have a couple of prayer requests.

Please pray for our goats -- when we brought the "boy" goat over last week he also brought pink eye.  One is suffering badly.  I've read they sometimes they are temporarily blinded.  In Jesus Name, its not permanent.  My hub will be taking her to the vet, but can you please pray?  It's got to be scarey for her.  Pray for all the rest of our girls and 2 baby boys as well.

Please pray for the safety of my family and friends during this snowy season -- I am always nervous about them driving in it.  Yes, I get "wiggy" a lot. 

But I DO KNOW that prayer works and the Lord hears and answers our needs as well as our fears.   Please continue to pray for my health ... I thank the Lord for His healing touch quite often.  He's an awesome God and I'm blessed to serve Him.

May the Lord bless you and keep you safe!   Love Me!

Wedding Week Wednesday!

Not much to write about ... you can pray for the super dose of energy I need to get my list done.

I went to Kansas City for some errands yesterday, came back and promptly crashed for an hour. I felt better when I woke up. My poor hub suffers from allergies BIG TIME this time of year and he is suffering. Please pray for him. He takes allergy meds, which relieve a little of the symptoms, but also make him tired. I got back at 9:18 last night and he was out. Poor guy.
Living in the country with all this ragweed does NOT help.



We have 2 new goat adoptees ... Nubian goats. They are yearlings. The "girls" were not very nice to them when they first arrived. But our girls have horns and the new girls don't! No fair.


Stephen I decided they needed to be named after cookies, because one has to be named Oreo.
Any suggestions for the other girl? They are sweet, and the babies always hang around them.
My husband has this crazy (insane?) idea of milking them ... I know its good for you but you are slaves to them. 2 times a day milkings! That won't happen for a while, thankfully.

Oreo on the left, and the "other" on the right, she is a cinnamon color. We thought about Sandie, but we don't really like that name. We want a "cool" cookie name but have come up blank. If we can't think of a cookie name for her, then we'll change Oreo's name too. I know, I'm weird like that.

We are seeing a little bit of that darkness the Pastor talked about, but God is still in control. Please pray for me, we are trusting God in all things. Honestly, it was a pretty dark day yesterday, we haven't had one of those for a while, but I decided today wasn't going to be like that, even if I have to constantly quote scripture when the dark thoughts come in. (and I've been doing that!) I do know and believe, God is all over this trial. IJN!


Please continue to pray for the M&M Babies, they are doing well. One doctor even said Micah's progress is a miracle. God is awesome.

Drop a prayer for my co-worker/friend really' Beckie -- going through a trial. I'm also praying she will come to know the Lord through this. Jason, my other co-worker/friend I know is also praying for this! We have a new staff member, a Major that joined our office. He is awesome. Most of my co-workers are not believers, we were all in his car on the way to a lunch and he was blasting Christian music. LOL! I'm sure some of the others were uncomfortable, but Maj B said that's ALL he listens too. Jason and I were VERY comfortable. I guess lots has been going on in the office this past week.

I better get to work ... its house clean up day, laundry, and finish ribbons and tags and fun stuff like that! (Ugh!) Please pray for me today, I need it. Love ya!

The US Military is amazing...

Yesterday I requested prayer for one of our officers -- but I have to give a High-5 to the US Military and how they came together to help this officer in his time of need.

One of the things I loved about the military is their sense of family and how they took care of their own. To be honest, they go above and beyond regular family and even how church families help each other. I don't know if its always been this way, but I know it was when I served and by yesterday's evidence, it is still going strong.

One of the officers' staff group spent the entire night with him. He got the call in the evening on Monday, the chaplain came as well, but another officer stayed with him the entire night. They were here at 0700 -- bringing him here so that our PAC could help him get a flight home. They raised over $2600. dollars in about 2 hours. Amazing. One officer after another from his staff group came up here to be with him, hug him and offer any support that could give. They were amazing to me -- and he not really being "one of their own", but in a sense he has become one of their own. He is still flying back home to his children ... its going to be a long, long road ahead for him.

A huge High-5 to the US Military, who really do take care of their own.

Lots of last minute wedding things to be done ... here's hoping I'm better by this weekend.

Stephen started his first day of his Senior year this morning. He was up at 0530 after not being able to fall asleep till 1am last night. He will be wiped out tonight and he has a full day ahead of him. The pups are going to be sad, because they will be kennel bound all day now. Taco is back to normal, which is a relief. He gets up whenever I do in the middle of the night to use the bathroom ... I'm sure he'll make up for being sleep deprived today.

Josh has his bachelor party this weekend -- paintball! Hosted by Lexi's dad. I thought that was super nice, because Stephen, uh isn't able to do it! The main problem will be transportation out there. Alot of people think because we live outside of the city limits that we should be the taxi service -- but uh, we already pay extra in gas for that. Its kind of sad in a way, because if we don't transport they don't come. I guess that just shows how much they care to come! {eyeroll} Sorry, that is sore subject, but still the truth. Their thought is well its not that much, okay, then if its not, then you drive it. I keep trying to find that money tree they think I have planted on our land somewhere, but I sure can't find it. LOL!

Lexi's bridal shower turned out really nice. Her maid of honor lives out of state so the ladies of our church stepped in and gave her a lovely one. She received a bunch of nice gifts! Lots of good food and fun games.

And I really am not cranky today, but what goes around, comes around. LOL. I'm really not cranky, maybe if I keep telling myself that, I won't be? I'll just blame it on the meds and lack of sleep. I've been skipped for some things at work because of this stupid cancer treatment. That does make me cranky. Its not fair. Grumble.

My co-worker lost her brother last night, please remember them in prayer. {sigh}

Its a quiet day here at work. Its been raining again, and I think we've had enough for this week!

Thanks for the prayers, they are greatly appreciated. God is good.

Prayer Request

One of our international officers' wife was killed last night in a head on collision, back home in Africa. Please pray for him, he understandably is not doing well at all. He has 3 children -- many decisions and all countries are not like the USA. (We need to keep our country the way it is!) Our Personal Affairs Coordinator is trying to get him a flight home, but he will have to come back for the remainder of the year. I really have no words, except how heartbreaking this is, and I pray he has a hope and comfort in the Lord Jesus Christ.

On my feet ... thankful

On my feet today. It started off pretty rough, I had a good cry/prayer time and the Lord saw fit to touch me. I am so thankful for Him -- and His healing touch.

Please pray for Lexi's Uncle he was put in the hospital on Thursday evening, is on a respirator and needs prayer. It's so close to the wedding -- and Lexi is sooo wanting them to come. Please, please touch the throne of grace. This means so much to her, and he needs our prayers!!

She's had some disappointments in life and I so want this day to be so very special for her. I could weep with the want of it all. She deserves a beautiful day filled with family, joy and love.

I took some goats photos, its like a swamp outside. It rained for hours and hours. (ugh)

Here's most of the crew, first time I've seen the colored ones in the field.

I took this from the house yesterday, but they were frolicking around, jumping and enjoying themselves! Bandit is the one in the middle, Maddie on the right, and Juliette on the left.

Here's a better photo of the colored one. Lacy is in the front. Isn't she pretty? He, of course is prettier. He needs a good home. They've grown so much!

Here's Frosty and Bandit. He barely fits under her any more. Its going too fast!

Sorry for the backsides, but you can see their colors really well in this. That's Mama Knees.

They are not near their mama -- they all hang around Knees for the most part. Not sure why?

P.S. I have peach fuzz on my head!! It looks really light -- I hope its not all grey! LOL!

Who Knew ?

The fair was pretty packed last night, I left early due to some side effects of treatment. And of course was up before the sun with the same "stuff". Blah! I took some meds so I pray I will be in fine form for later today. Have a few errands to run but nothing much. I did some cleaning up yesterday.

We are about to lock our dogs up in the barn for a week ... its that time of the month (in dog time) for Mini, and Taco has gotten to the age where he thinks he's the papa dog. Huge sigh. He is like a little crazed weasel or something. Needless to say its not been fun. It looks they will be spending a lot of the next week in their kennels.

Stephen starts his senior year next Wednesday. He has an internship and was told he has to drive there ... that's kind of impossible without a vehicle. He tried to find a job this summer but it just didn't happen. Too many people need jobs. People with families. Help us pray about this, he really wants to do it, but its that getting there that will be a huge issue. Its 3 times a week too!

Lexi has a bachelorette party on Saturday hosted by her step-mom and a Bridal Shower on Monday. It's promising to be a busy week. I need to finalize my dress and get a wig and/or hat to wear. Rachel at the American Cancer Society has offered to help me. I need help. LOL!

But time is short, so please pray something works out that will look decent. I realize I'll not look too great -- its the whole chemo look, but ...

I meant to bring my camera to the fair yesterday to share photos of the booth, we have some new cool signs showing the Walking Taco and Roasted Corn. We've done pretty well with this year's menu. Fried Snickers are popular and considering we are the only booth offering them, its great.

Its always better to have a photo -- and this one is not great because Mini was chasing Bandit around the living room. Yes, Josh brought him into the house. No accidents! These baby goats are just too cute. Love 'em.

Pray for Little Micah

Undergoing emergency surgery at 1pm -- they said he has a 50/50 chance. God can change that in a heartbeat. Please continue to pray for the little M&M guys.

Thursday Thoughts ...

First, please continue to pray for Miguel and Micah -- they are having brain bleeds, which from what I've read usually happen in micro preemies. I have also read that alot of the time, they resolve themselves. Let's just pray for that -- they are in critical condition, but stable.

Their grandmother has a video/photos with music if you would like to see them. They look HUGE in the photos, they are NOT huge. Teeny, tiny little guys. She is a professional photographer and did an amazing job. Miguel and Micah

Saw the endodontist today who recommended that I just pull the tooth out for various reasons -- now to see if Dr. S okays it? And when. Its still very tender and sore. Not sure they could even pull it in the condition it is in??

Registered Stephen at school today -- I can't believe he's a Senior. Its a sad as well as a happy time.

No new goats, but the guinea eggs are hatching! Going to call it an early night tonight, I am wiped out. Love ya all!

I feel like Job ...

God is still good in the midst of all of this "mess".

There are angels walking around this earth -- there are the 3 that have been helping me tremendously with this wedding. I don't know what I would have done without them!

Please pray a special blessing for them -- Debora, Shannon and Sherrill.

and don't forget to pray for the M&M Babies! Still doing okay. IJN!

Oh -- the baby goats are arriving! Frosty had a baby boy last night. Soo cute!!

Dentist Visit Today

I've been having problems with the same tooth (#30, in case you are wondering!) for the last year. I had a root canal done and then retreatment and it seemed that everything was okay and it was healed so we had the crown put on.

Not so...it appears. I started having tooth pain last Thursday -- and it got progressively worse. By Friday, I was ready to pull my hair out (had I had any to pull or grip to pull out!) I ended up calling Dr. Shwaiki for help -- he called in some pain meds and antibiotics. I sure do like him!

I struggled with it most of the weekend, by yesterday my lower jaw was swollen up pretty good. That is not a good sign. I saw my dentist today and unfortunately there is an infection under that crown! Ugh! And double ugh!!

I go see an endodontist on Thursday, if it gets worse than I can go tomorrow. I'm not sure if they would perform the procedure with all the infection in there or not?? But I have to have an
apicoectomy. They were concerned if I could even have it -- but as long as I am under antibiotics, I can. It doesn' t look too pleasant a procedure, but the site says its easier than a root canal, and those are a piece of cake for me, so In Jesus Name!!

I go for the next chemo treatment next Wednesday, the 12th, so scheduling this procedure should be interesting? What do you think is better? Before it or right after? I have the issue with bleeding from the chemo ... so not sure what to do. I do know this pain has got to go. Once this is done, it should be good for life.

They asked me, are there any health concerns we need to know about? I replied, I am going through cancer treatment. Total silence on the other end. I find it funny, in a morbid sort of way. People don't expect those answers.

Other than that -- I am doing pretty good. I must be doing something right to get attacked so much. LOL!

I have strict instructions to head to the nearest emergency room if it gets ANY worse. Let's pray not!

A lady at the bread store, stopped me, put her hand on my shoulder and asked me if I was a cancer victim? I said yes and she asked my name and said she would pray for me. I told her that they would be appreciated very much. The cashier offered more prayer for me. I will take it.

I thought about it on the drive home, and I don't think cancer "victim" sounds right. I take my yes back.

Special Prayer for Miguel & Micah

Tonight I met the tiniest human babies I have ever seen--and probably ever will.

Little Miguel & Micah were born on Friday, 31 July 2009.

Their due date was about November 21, 2009.

Please remember these beautiful little boys in your prayers -- that they would grow healthy and strong without any issues along the way. They have a mama and daddy and sister that love them very much.

I stood in awe of God tonight -- as I saw these two little miracles. They were amazing to me.

Please lift them up before the throne of grace tonight, and in the days ahead. Thanks!!!

Space Adventures 2 --

The Lord blessed with a beautiful sunny day. As you can see from the photo the day started out pretty cloudy with rain drizzling down -- but then an answered prayer arrives and the Lord blessed us with a beautiful day.

Our thanks are to Him.

Going back today to try again -- been fighting getting a cold so if you would please drop a prayer or two heavenward for me today -- it would be greatly appreciated.

Plan B ...

Went to the doctor yesterday for treatment and to see him, I haven't seen him in a month.
Good news and bad news -- no treatment yesterday, my system hasn't recovered enough and counts were too low. Going back today. (sigh)
The tumour hasn't grown, but it also hasn't shrunk as much as they wanted. Nasty thing. So ... one more of these treatments and re-check in 2 weeks. If no improvement, then we are changing the treatment plan and not continuing with the other.

Another kind of chemo ... and maybe radiation. Its so close to the skin that while operable, reconstruction at this point would be impossible. Of course -- God is still on the throne and He knows all about this.

I walked downstairs and across the parking lot thinking, I can either stress out or leave it in God's hands. I'm leaving it in His hands. Doesn't mean I'm not concerned, but I am not going to be anxious and go nutso about it. I actually didn't wake for potty breaks during the night, so slept from about 1030 until 0430 -- which was great for me.

We talked a little about the after effects of chemo and he was shocked that I deal with nausea for about a week after treatment, he said I should not at all. I take the Zofran every 8 hours then Compuzine (sp) every 3 or so hours to control it. The plan is to give me fluids on Friday to combat it. I thought that was the norm, but I guess not. Fatigue is the norm -- which I struggle with, but the nausea I shouldn't at all.

Special prayer requests -- while I don't want chemo -- please ask the Lord to shrink it or use the chemo to shrink it amazingly in the next 2 weeks.

The infection is back -- considering my WBC is 2.8 -- it's not surprising I can't fight an infection. I am on antibiotics once again -- (sigh) I need the UTI, Yeast infection and breast infection to be cleared up -- which the Lord will have to do.

Pray for the finances with these treatments -- I've been shocked at the cost of them. KU charged the insurance $4k for Taxol, while St Luke's was $465. Needless to say my OOP at KU for the same treatment was 100% more than St Luke's. We will have to do payments, but that screws up our debt free goal by 2010. (sigh) I've almost hit the max OOP, but will still have to pay co-pays, and the max OOP is $5K.

Pray for our family -- it's been hard on everyone. I think everything is suffering -- house, relationships a little, my work -- trying to stay upbeat in the darkness that seems to want to overtake me.

Your prayers are coveted -- and another photo! A post is not a post without a photo.
God Bless.

C Day ...

Totally unsure about anything this morning, its been a rough past week and I will be totally honest when I write that I dread this afternoon and treatment. The Taxol was a breeze compared to this stuff.

I have done pretty well with keeping upbeat but a black cloud has descended on me the last 3 days and it won't go away. I lost it the other night, I absolutely hate for my boys to hear/see that .

I've not felt well and had to drag myself to get a few hours in at work today. But I hope and pray tomorrow I am well enough to make it in.

I've learned many things through this journey thus far -- one is -- you never know what a person is going through, don't assume you know, because YOU DON'T. Don't add more to their burden -- be careful with your words and attitude -- they sting. They sting deeply. I will never assume to know what a person should do -- only those living it can do that.

Please help us pray about the finanical aspects of this -- we received the insurance paperwork for that Neulasta shot -- are you sitting down?
They expect us to pay $1162.00 our part. AND they want me to do 3 more of those? We are not prepared for that. We will talk with the doctor today to see if there is anything else, because we'll be paying for years on that. If I live through all this anyway.
The normal treatments are $65 for the Taxol and @ $105 for the A/C.
(huge sigh) We were doing so well -- this trial is hitting us all around, and not just my health.

Continue to pray about the surgery -- we both feel it needs to be OUT. It's such an aggressive cancer, it scares me to have it stay in there. But, I do believe God is containing it in the one tumour. IJN! I'm human, what can I say ...

I read this on a woman's blog who is dying from cancer (yes, I know now not to read those kinds of things, it only adds to the black cloud of dispair!) but it fits me today ...

God is still good.” And He is. We will not doubt Him now when the road ahead is dark. He will use this for good and for His glory. There is no doubt. And, in the depths of my sadness, that makes my heart glad.

Thanks for your prayers ...

01:56 .. Still awake

Yesterday I ended up at the dentist office, my bottom right teeth have been giving me issues for a while, but I've put off taking care of it due to this new season of life issue. The endodontist said it was either a root canal done too long or my very back tooth needing a root canal. He had given me some antibiotics due to infection and things were quiet for a few months.

The pain started on Tuesday and went from none to unbearable. I am still hurting pretty bad -- I did get permission to get the root canal from the oncologist - along with antibiotics for another week. They did a root canal on the back molar. I'm praying that it will stop hurting by morning -- it usually takes a bit and there is infection in there plus the whole procedure. I'm on some pain relievers for the pain -- teeth pain is the absolute worse for me. The pain relievers are barely taking the edge off the pain -- I seriously need a break from the pain. I'm so tired -- need some rest.

For me on the pain scale -- 10 is emergency room/broken limbs etc. I'd have to say I'm at least at an 8 -- debated going yesterday evening but not really sure what they could do. I need my own numbing needle that the dentist has! I do have some pretty strong pain relievers and I get some relief but its short lived, and then the pain is back as strong as ever.

Any suggestions? I'm seriously struggling here. Lord, please touch my pain and heal it, In the name of Jesus I pray ...

Prayer

Lord, I have received the diagnosis of breast cancer

Still my anxious heart as I seek to understand why-

Teach me to transform this suffering into growth,

My great fear of tomorrow into faith in your presence,

My tears into understanding,

My discouragement into courage,

My anger into forgiveness,
My bitterness into acceptance,

My experience with cancer into my testimony,

My crisis into a platform on which I can learn to help others.

God grant that one day I can embrace this time

as my friend, and not as my enemy.

Amen ... and amen.

Please pray for a letter carrier that was attacked on Saturday by two dogs. Here's the short story -- Fox 4 KC It's much worse than the story tells -- over 100 stitches in her face alone, and she is surgery today. It will probably be one of many ....

We were in Kansas City Sunday morning. My husband spoke at an inner city church. I love that church (we've been there before) -- they are just so real -- they may not be what some Christians, consider Christians, but they're not fake. What you see, is what you get. They are always so welcoming, like long lost friends. Praying that God would touch their hearts and turn their hearts toward Him. It's going to be a super busy week ... again (sigh)