Today .. the year 2009? ... has been particularly trying to say the least.
I am beyond tired ... been doing lots of thinking -- mind battles mostly, thinking of just giving up. Tired.
Weary of the battles ... they seem constant.
Work was horrid -- we've been gone for 3 days and they decide we need to have a 90 minute at 0830.
{eyeroll} Then they tell us we will have to compete for our job ... nice. I gave up a promotion last year because this job was said to be getting one. I do know it was the right decision -- because I know I would not have gotten the support at the other job with the whole cancer thing.
At church last night -- God moved in a mighty way. Another sister in our church has cervical cancer. Cancer sucks. It robs you and steals things from you. She was getting prayed for and I could feel it all the way over where I was. Woah. I went to pray with her -- and you know what went through my mind? Because I could feel her pain, I knew her struggles, I knew her fears, I knew the overwhelming crushing blows she felt ... because I had felt the same things. I thanked God for that. Without the cancer, I wouldn't have been able to relate in such an intimate way. God is going to do amazing things through this ... if I could just get through it all ... but I will. I'm tough. The Lord made me tough.
My co-worker will be leaving as soon as the door opens ... I want to pray that God will not allow it to open, but it pains me to see him so unhappy. He deserves better. {sigh}
Who knows, I may not even qualify for my own job?? LOL Now that would be a hoot!
I am beyond tired ... been doing lots of thinking -- mind battles mostly, thinking of just giving up. Tired.
Weary of the battles ... they seem constant.
Work was horrid -- we've been gone for 3 days and they decide we need to have a 90 minute at 0830.
{eyeroll} Then they tell us we will have to compete for our job ... nice. I gave up a promotion last year because this job was said to be getting one. I do know it was the right decision -- because I know I would not have gotten the support at the other job with the whole cancer thing.
At church last night -- God moved in a mighty way. Another sister in our church has cervical cancer. Cancer sucks. It robs you and steals things from you. She was getting prayed for and I could feel it all the way over where I was. Woah. I went to pray with her -- and you know what went through my mind? Because I could feel her pain, I knew her struggles, I knew her fears, I knew the overwhelming crushing blows she felt ... because I had felt the same things. I thanked God for that. Without the cancer, I wouldn't have been able to relate in such an intimate way. God is going to do amazing things through this ... if I could just get through it all ... but I will. I'm tough. The Lord made me tough.
My co-worker will be leaving as soon as the door opens ... I want to pray that God will not allow it to open, but it pains me to see him so unhappy. He deserves better. {sigh}
Who knows, I may not even qualify for my own job?? LOL Now that would be a hoot!
Labels: Breast Cancer, life, Miscellaneous, Work
