May 6, 2010
6 May 2010
Thought I would take a moment to check in ... its been a rough few weeks.  

Michelle needs some constant -- it's like its one new season of life after another this past year. 

I go to the hospital on May 21st for a PET Scan.

Believing and trusting God for it to be clear -- it's really all I have.   Appreciate the prayers.
I've started stressing already ... and I have over 15 days to go ... then I go see Dr. S on the 27th for results.
(deep breath)

Stephen has been working almost every evening and hub doesn't get home till about 8pm.   Needless to say the house has been VERY quiet.    I'm adjusting.  One of the main problems I have is meals ... no need for dinner that late.  So, we'll see ....

Stephen has an appointment at KU on Tuesday morning, and then graduates on Saturday.
So glad I don't have to deal with the whole high school thing anymore-- college is so different.

Might I add, please don't ask me "when I am having surgery" -- I am all too aware of what I lost -- it really doesn't bother me until someone asks me, which makes me think they are trying to "picture" what i don't have it or something triggers when looking at me.  Please, just give me a small break.   Please don't ask me how I am -- or how the cancer is -- I thought you believed God healed me.  At least that's what you say one minute. 

I think I need to move .... just to have people who don't know me.  Oh, and my hair is LONG, its not been cut and just because it isn't as long as yours doesn't mean that I have done something wrong.  Or I am not in the right according to "our standards"   God knows that I never laid a scissor to my hair, never pulled it out ... but of course it had to come out.   I'm sorry that the prayers were never answered regarding losing it, but I actually never lost all of it.  I didn't want to lose my hair -- for many reasons -- and to be honest later on after losing it, I didn't want to deal with those who would judge me for the decisions we made.

You can't know what you would do unless you walk the same path and are faced with the very same decisions as someone.  I can think all I want to about what I would do .... but unless I am faced with it, I don't know.   

I seriously thought 'all the drama' was over -- I want to go on and live my life and do the very best for God that I can.  I want to make my life count -- which was my prayer this morning.  I am no hero, I am scared -- I'm a tad weary -- but my strength truly comes from Him.

Ok -- enough of that.  Can they just give me a break??   Their words need to stop at their brain before they leave their mouth.

Let's go on and live life, live for the Lord and follow the paths He has for us...in harmony.

K ?

Labels: , ,



2 comments:

Gentle huggles sweetie. You know you are loved here and I hope I never in any way have, or will hurt you with my words or thoughts. We all know or should know, words can cut as surely as a knife! Still praying AND believing. The past year has surely had many, many things for you to have to adjust to and that is never easy.

Blogger Crystal said...

You are in our prayers!!! :O)
We serve a mighty God :)

Have a wonderful Mother's day :O) :O) :O)

Love ya

Post a Comment

<< Home

footer