November 24, 2009
Warning ...
this will not be an uplifting post but rather a way to express my frustrations!

I'm not sure if people are just stupid or they just don't think.  Or both.  Grrrr.

Ya know -- you don't just "get" another dog, sure you "get one", (maybe) but its not like its a fix to your grief and it solves everything.  I'm sure there are dogs out there to love and they need a person to care for them.  Ok, I KNOW that.  But HELLO -- you don't just replace a friend.  That's almost up there with, don't worry you can get another child or you can get another husband.  I mean after all, you are able to have more children, so what's the problem?   Stupid.  Ok --   they think they are helping.  But, ya know I don't need that kind of help.

I could go on and say, oh you're trying to help now?  Where were you the last 7 months?  Gee, thanks for all your support.   Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect anything from anyone after the first few weeks.  I realized that "expecting" was definitely wrong.  It definitely gave me a new sense of worth (or unworth) to people and that everyone lives on their own island and wants you to help them, but to help someone else?  Yeah.  Not. 

It's not been a good week.  I'm not sure if its because my stress level is 852, when it should be 10.  People thinking I am actually stupid to see behind what is really said.  I'm not dumb, okay.  And I'm definitely NOT an idiot.   Where did they get that idea from if they didn't get it from you?  Why lie?  Because make no mistakes it is a lie.

At work we have students who are flat out lying to you and they expect you to believe it!!

I love the "Well, I'm going to die from something?"  Yeah,  here let's switch our healths.  {eyeroll}

And the ones who are super paranoid about having an ingrown toe nail.  Get a grip, ok.  God is much bigger than that.  Trying living with the thought, that if this cancer comes back -- you're dead.  How's that in a nutshell?

And yes, I've already complained to the Lord.  Cried with frustration about my lot in life. I'm sure He's sick of hearing that one.  

But -- do me a favor, don't add to it.  Don't peg me for an idiot while you are at it.  I'd rather you  just left me alone.  I'll pray for you, should you come to mind.  Make no mistakes.  I HAVE to be ready.  Knowing what I know, I have to be.  And Heaven ain't worth people acting like idiots foolish.



I applaud you sister. You needed to let go of all that stuff. When you mentioned the dog part it brought back hard memories. we lost our Bubba Joe on a Saturday night. When I went back to work Monday, I was bombarded with offers of i have the perfect dog for you. you need to get a pet right away. Excuse me? How do you know when I am ready? True, I am often ready before Jack but I need time to heal too and it isn't right for me to force him before he is ready. If you really want to be well meaning why not try listening or lending a shoulder to cry on or help in some other way? Huggles dear one.

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