November 9, 2009
   I hate blogger.  Just lost an entire post!! Blah.

I took a percocet to take the edge off the pain, it only takes the edge off, it doesn't go away.  I called the nurse and I see the doctor shortly.  She doesn't think it is radiation oriented with only three treatments. 

Trying to get used to the new quietness of the house without Taco.  It's getting better, but we're not there yet.

I'm not sure if it just Taco -- or the accumulation of EVERYTHING this year.  I thought I did pretty well staying strong, trying to be a hero, but I think I've hit my lowest point.  I'm tired.  I'm worried and just plain tired.   It's a constant mental battle.  We've all been getting on each other's nerves at the house.  Taco's death affected ALL of us.  He was just that kind of friend.    Josh came out of the shower yesterday with his eyes beet red.  I asked him what was wrong and he said he got water in them.  Uh yeah, right. 

The menu plan pretty much went out the window last week.  I didn't cook.  Who wanted to eat? 

So, I have some things I can cook this week:  Ravioli, Tortellini Soup, Toasted Ham and Cheese, Breakfast for Dinner, and Tilipia.  We'll see how things roll.

I am scheduled to go TDY next week from Sunday thru Wednesday.  I'm glad to get out of the house for a few days.  Too many Taco memories.  And then they all get a break from me.  I'm grumpy.  Miss him.

Will update later this evening after I get out of the doctor ... IJN things are fine. 

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It all has a way of building up and building up and then it slams you hard! been there, done that! prayers and huggles.

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