Decisions...

Good visit with the surgeon yesterday, healing nicely and no fluid build-up in the flaps. I don't have 100% mobility in my left arm yet so I will see a physical therapist for a few visits to fix that up. Dr N was glad to see me with hair and I told her that I hadn't felt this good in months. I feel much better than even before my diagnosis. Probably due to all the supplements I take now and my change of eating. (uh, and no chemo!)  I have been walking again too. Chipper loves that, I’m sure he missed it.

My blood pressure is still high 151/94. I have blood pressure meds, but I don't take them. I want to take my BP out of the doctor's office, but now impossible at the free machines because I can't take it with my left arm. So ... ??? I keep telling them its location that causes it, but that is probably not the case.

It was a beautiful day here in Kansas yesterday ... sunny and 70 degrees. Absolutely wonderful.

Hub and I then went to see Dr. Wall -- the Radiation Oncologist. A super nice man, he didn't have some of my history correct though. I know and keep very good track of all that’s gone on, he actually looked in the chart because he insisted. Well, he was wrong. He also said it was impossible to know if cancer was ever in my lymph nodes or not. {shrug} We decided to just be foolish enough to believe the Lord contained it and it never went there. He explained and answered all of hub's questions ... {sigh} Still believe that God will be the one to do the ultimate healing, but to be totally honest, I’m afraid not to do it. It’s not that I doubt God, maybe because I’ve relied on myself for so long, maybe I don’t have enough faith to just not do anything, probably a combination of all of it.

Radiation won't change my reconstruction procedure -- it will still have to be a TRAM Flap reconstruction . I've read it’s a tad painful after. I can't get the implants if I do radiation, and to be honest, I’m not sure if I want them anyway. I’d rather have my own stuff inside me.

Radiation would be six weeks ... no changing that. Higher doses in some areas especially the scar. They have to be very careful as my heart is right there. He said it would give me a higher percentage of it not recurring ... 30% more. Which is quite a bit. He did tell us he would recommend a doctor at Providence which is about 30 minutes from my job vs. an hour. I really like St. Luke's -- but an hour is a long drive x 2 x 5 days a week. He said fatigue and skin irritation is the problems, but of course it doesn’t come without risk.

Please remember us in prayer .... it doesn’t seem like this will ever end … that kick in the gut feeling sure is familiar. =)