July 21, 2009
Sometimes ...
I’ve been asked at least daily this past week about my cancer. People wondering if I cut my hair (GASP!) and why I have a hat on.
I don’t think they expect the answer as being cancer. One says he is sorry. No need to be sorry – it will all be good.

I’ve avoided going to bring dry cleaning because I knew there would be questions to answer and I didn’t want to answer them. I didn’t want them to see me, because seeing me is seeing the unavoidable that you read in their eyes. Pity, sadness, and surprise.

A lady came in the break room today whom I’ve seen and said hello to here and again. Asked how I was and wanted to tell me about her son.
In 1997 at 22 years old he was diagnosed with cancer and is doing okay today. Thank God. She said I needed to get through the process and I’d be fine. She sympathized and offered any support I needed, and was a big encouragement. She is putting me on her prayer list, which is the best support.

Sometimes there is a need for words.

I needed them today as I face tomorrow.

Dread tomorrow. I’m finally feeling normal and I know I won’t in a few days.

Friday night at the store as I walked to the back alone to get some milk, I passed some kids and their dad.

It was the first time I’d been laughed at for being bald. (I do cover my head BTW!)

It stung. As I walked to the front at the point of tears … I didn’t succumb. I couldn’t do it.

I wouldn’t let myself let them get the better of me.

I met my husband at the front and I told him, it looks like I was the brunt of someone’s joke.

He looked across at me and met my eyes.

His eyes told it all. We’ve known each other a long time.

Sometimes there are no need for words.

It will all be fine.

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Anonymous michelle said...

Hang in there hon. You have a lot of us hanging in there with you.

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